I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
