Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
