Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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