He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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