stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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