They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
