she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
