Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
