so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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