Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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