It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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