I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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