Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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