what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
