I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
