I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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