my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
