i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
