Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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