your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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