I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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