turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize