6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
