im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
