so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
