Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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