I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize