He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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