Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
