I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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