Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
