Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I am naked and annoyed.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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