I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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