There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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