well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize