Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
