the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
