I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
