just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
