when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
