Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
