dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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