Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
