I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
