The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
