your parents love me but you hate me
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
