# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
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