I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize