Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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