So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
