Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
