we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
