Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
