You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
